It could be completely possible that I’m reading too much into the text. But in my trek thru the Gospels I came across a familiar passage:
“He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.
But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.“ – Mark 8:31-33
Did you see it?
It’s in that last verse:
But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.“
The other synoptic Gospels omit this small section. Matthew gives greater detail to what Peter said and Luke omits the rebuking completely. Which I can understand, because the major point of the passage is the cost of being a disciple.
This struck me that for a moment, Jesus considered it. He thought to himself that maybe he didn’t have to go to a cross and die. We know and remember Jesus in the Garden of Gethesmane asked the Father to take the cup from him if at all possible. But after looking at his disciples, he remembered the mission. He remembered that these were the people he loved, and they represented all of humanity. Twelve men, including a betrayer, at that moment became the symbol for all of humanity. Me. You. Your neighbor.
You get to a point in your Walk where you become increasingly aware of your wretchedness. The “vomit you return to”. I needed this passage this morning, and I’m thankful that My Father gave it to me as an encouragement. That no matter how bad or sinful I am, he still loves me. And in that moment when he looked at his disciples, he remembered me.
He remembered the mission to save me.